The 4 Cs of Confidence To Implement
We all experience challenges with our confidence, but it doesn't need to be this way. Look at it from the perspective of the 4Cs to gain better insight.
The C-word (not the rude one that drops an audio bomb when you're in a room with others), but the state of being which is so fundamental to our human existence. As far as we know its a uniquely human trait, although it's not to say that animals don't have it.
Confidence originates from a Latin word ‘fidere’ which means ‘to trust’. Simply put it means the ability to trust in one’s self. If only it were simple to apply. Lack of confidence can be detrimental to your progress as a person and its stopped many from fulfilling their potential. I think it fair to say that cemeteries are filled with people whose confidence killed them long before death took them.
When it comes to having issues with confidence, I'm an expert as perhaps you are from having suffered from a lack of confidence for years.
As a result, I made it part of my mission to study confidence and most importantly implement it. My study, observation, and implementation has led me to formulate the 4Cs which are:
Commitment -Life is constantly asking us to commit. We can either commit to negative and destructive forces like negative patterns of thinking, doing drugs, committing crimes, etc, or be committed to positive and life-enhancing forces like making progress on goals daily, taking care of ourselves, and just bettering ourselves. I've noticed that as I made a commitment to immerse myself in my personal growth and personal development, my confidence has grown immensely. This isn't to be confused with vanity, conceit, or ego. I'm talking about a real appreciation for myself and for my place in this world. Daily I make progress towards my goals and overall life vision which keeps my commitment at the center of my life not on the backburner.
Courage- is an essential trait to get you through the trials and tribulations of life. Even the lion in the ‘Wizard of Oz’ asked for courage as he recognized its importance. Like the lion, we often don't realize that we are already courageous far beyond we give ourselves credit for. The average person and I say average in a nice way is highly courageous if they look at experiences that they have gone through. But, for the most part, they brush it off and say ‘Im not courageous’. Talk about an eroder of confidence. When it comes to building confidence you must be consciously aware of having courage and also owning it with proud conviction. Every act of courage I've learned is helping us get stronger. In fact, it builds emotional muscle.
Competence- For me, confidence and competence go together, but it's been said that you can be confident and not component and component but not confident. Do you follow or have I lost you? Basically competence is having faith in your capabilities. I know when I haven't felt competent in a skill or trait that I've wanted, it's reduced my confidence levels greatly. In fact, whenever I feel my confidence decreasing, I take a pause and look at where I feel I am not being competent. Sometimes it could be just a case of me being way too harsh on myself, but there have been times where it’s been a case that I needed to step up and get competent in a certain area/s of my life. This made all the difference for my confidence. Can you relate?
Certainty- this is the peak of the mountain for me, as I know I have reached confidence or at least a reasonable degree of it when I have reached a state of certainty. This is all about me knowing what I know and feeling damn good about it. I can only describe it as a heightened state of faith (non-religious) in which my mind and body are aligned. To get to certainty at least for me, the other Cs must be implemented first. There are no short-cuts. But, it's worth it. Just think about how many things you would do if you had 100% certainty. I will add its perfectly okay to be uncertain as you are human and you will face uncertainty many times in life. However, we should aim for certainty when it comes to many situations in our life especially ones that require confidence.
In conclusion, I will add that confidence isn't easy, ( I pride myself on being realistic and truthful), but just like with most things in life, it becomes easier with the right tactics and strategies. It's all about knowing how to play the game of life.
I hope in my own small way I have given you some useful and practical strategies and tactics even if basic that you can apply to build your confidence.
Wishing you much confidence,
Sandra Di Francesco
Feel free to get in touch with me to say hi or discuss anything further at: firstname.lastname@example.org